Have you ever heard the term ‘Reality Bites’? I experienced that tonight. I think there are many thing that we tell ourselves, or that at least we know, that we don’t accept until we say them out loud, or tell someone else. Although, it didn’t so much as bite, as it BIT! For some reason that sounded worse than “bites” for me. I don’t know why. Either way, it wasn’t a good feeling. It was the realization that the hopes, dreams and aspirations that I hold dear are unattainable, in a real sense. Now, these aren’t the hopes, dreams and aspirations that I share with the world. No, these are the ones that I share with myself, and well, just basically with myself. The ones I hold dear. The ones that I don’t really talk about with just anyone.
There is something about knowing that your dreams won’t come true that just isn’t the best. It’s like knowing the ending of a movie or a book. You know that a character is going to die, for instance, and well, I don’t know about you, but, honestly, the movie is no longer worth watching, and the book is no longer worth reading.
There was a voice in my head that told me the possible unattainability of my dreams, but it wasn’t until I said it out loud that it sunk it. It wasn’t until then, that I understood that now nothing is left, but walking slowly and painfully to the dark abyss, without the ability to return. Doomed forever to stay in reality. Trapped without an escape. Where is my escape? Who is my escape? My distraction. My makes it all better no matter what?
